Why do I want to write?
It was love at first sight. So begins one of my favorite novels of all time. I often wonder whether there is such a thing as hate at first sight. If there is, I am certain that I am experiencing it right now as I am writing this. This is my first attempt at giving concrete written form to my inner thoughts, but the only words that come to my mind are apologies for this foolhardy pursuit. (For those who encouraged/inspired me to write, let me assure you that my future articles will be less about me. But, for now, this rather long disclaimer is necessary!)
Why do I hate putting into words something that I love thinking about? I think it bothers me a little that I may never find the perfect words to convey my ideas accurately in the finest possible detail – not just due to my literary handicap but also due to people’s varying world views and the universal limitation of language. This problem of seeking an unattainable perfection in communication is captured elegantly in a few lines from “Pride and Prejudice”. Elizabeth, during her dance with Darcy, accuses him for his rudeness, a defect in character that she empathizes with. She says to him, “We are each of an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak, unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room, and be handed down to posterity with all the éclat of a proverb.” While Darcy does not respond to this immediately, he remembers to answer to this accusation when he explains himself to her on a later occasion. “I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,” says Darcy, “of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.”
It took me an eternity to figure out why this limitation is not a hurdle in real life. Language can never operate independent of the human experience. If we understand what someone else says, it is because we have directly or indirectly experienced part of the idea or fact they are trying to convey, and our brains extrapolate the remaining parts that are outside our domain of experience. In that sense, communication is just a process of finding the intersection between the speaker and the listener or the writer and the reader. There is no perfect way to convey a given idea, although some may work better than others depending on the situation. As much as I like popular quotes, the truth is always more complicated than a few glorified sentences. If I can’t explain happiness, for instance, in a thousand words, I should just take a million. The trick, as they say, is to keep talking…
I have a second more important reason why I hate writing so much. I never consider my personal thoughts to be meaningful to anyone else other than myself and maybe a few who think like me. That opinion has not changed much, but I have come to terms with the fact that all art is selfish, especially the crudest ones like this (mine). Writing, to me, is a natural form of self-expression – nothing less, nothing more. I don’t have to pretend to write to enlighten others. I want to write because it helps me give definite form to my thoughts and grow as a thinker. I want to write because I enjoy the moments when you know someone else genuinely understands a complex idea that originated in you and vice versa. I want to write because I believe that these connections we make with one another through ideas are more permanent in the universe than anything else we could hope to do by ourselves. Thus, I humbly confess to my selfish motives behind this blog – the desire to understand these indelible links!
Performer da ..